Being silly, fits of laughter and the joy of surprise!

I am a huge fan of laughing, it’s a healthy addiction. A sudden surprise will often send me into fits of roaring laughter. I can’t think of anything that changes my state faster than a good laugh. I guess I would like to share a few experiences of my own, but also know that sometimes, you just have to be there, so I’ll just choose the one!

I do remember a Friday, city streets are packed, swerving through people on the footpath, it’s lunch time and I’m on my way to work. I am late! I can see a colleague walking toward me. The path is packed. I am still weaving in and out, preparing to smile and say hi or something. He is walking toward me with his long grey trench coat thingy that he always wears, hunched around him like he is frozen (maybe because he is wearing shorts and actually is frozen). I was not prepared when he jumped right in front of me legs spread and so close to me, no other person could have possibly seen he was clothed, he spread his arms wide, but not far enough for others to see his top and shorts, he says nothing, covers himself up and moves on, fast! It happened all at once, bang, bang ,bang. I was silent at first but as soon as he walked away I fell into fits of cackling, it came from the solar plexus and I can’t say I saw one other person laugh or even smile at me. They looked horrified! Which of course, fed the humour of the encounter. What must these people have thought? I kept walking, it all happened so quickly.

When I think about that day, I still laugh a lot! I wonder what people thought, why they didn’t laugh. The element of surprise was powerful that day, something I didn’t expect took me to a very happy place. It wasn’t just that though. It was also the guy. We didn’t have a great friendship but we talked and our connection was real. He was a bit of joker, liked to lark about a bit, a grown man with a family and pretty handy feet for soccer (UK-football)  I still think about him and what he did that day. One moment that he chose to be daring and funny, at a time before daring and funny was trendy. It lifted my spirits and changed the way I looked at him. It also changed the way I looked at myself. The way I carried myself in the public eye and how “serious” I was becoming. I appreciated the ease of the action, that it was such a natural thing that produced so much happiness. I loved that this guy was so confident and free to be himself like that, it reminded me of me, of who I used to choose to be before I let the outside influences of my own life experience direct my behaviour. It was a little gift to remind me that its ok to laugh out loud, that its important not to take life too seriously and to always allow myself the freedom to be silly.

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Raw truth and a motive for response!

I can always rely on the universe to fast track me a whirlwind of challenge at the point of true surrender. At times, it’s as if I have been moving in slow motion through a minefield of psychopathic energy, one relationship after the next. Meditating, breathing, internally debriefing and drawing my way through each event one after the next and (gentle , little twinkly pretty chimes sound) then thwack! It hits me,( the universe) with a king hit, promising me a chance for growth or suffering. In raw truth, I usually choose suffering to begin with and it depends on the situation as to whether I dwell in this pit for a very lengthy and engaging adventure, or strive forward into ball busting, no time-wasting, nothings going to shake me or take me down mode! I want to say something inspiring about the thwack, something that will illuminate people and connect so that they “get it”, that moment just before it hits when you feel like you are moving in harmony with life, synchronistic events supporting your every turn, you smile at yourself inhale and share your delight with anybody who is in earshot. THWACK!!!!!……..”did you say things felt at peace, swimming without resistance, try this one with no floaties.”  Yes,  every time I find myself in full stride with life, something comes at me to pay attention, to not be complacent with the value and fragility of this “Lisa” experience.

I often see it like a movie, a boxing blockbuster, I am in the ring and dancing the good fight when, thwack the referee takes me down bare fisted, both the opponent and referee are standing over me, I see the tweety birds playing ring-a- rosie around their heads and I blink as they jeer and chuckle, “how you doing now champ”? …”feeling good”? …”got it sorted”? … “be water champ, be water”!

At this point, for me in almost every case. Laughing is the only option. I’m not usually laughing at the life altering situation that’s taken me down, I’m laughing at the speed and velocity and absolute clockwork timing of the thwack! It’s impact is precise and unwavering. I’m sure everybody knows it. I am also sure that we need a committee or an organised support system that is universal and miscellaneous in reason. Most importantly we need a gauge! I’m no weather expert, but,  we get to gauge weather , natural disasters are gauged. I believe a thwack gauge is long over due!

Considering we don’t actually have the gauge and nothing is metered in recovery from challenge or appropriate  timeframe for relapse, we choose our own adventure with this one. The way I see it, we move forward based on emotion and our ability to be honest with ourselves. Raw truth is like a freedom ticket, it creates an open energy of flow in life. Being open to it, having the strength and courage to be honest with ourselves and others can be liberating and empowering. It has a healing effect that produces instant relief. The thwack usually shouts at us because the ping didn’t have our attention. We tend to spend our time experiencing our lives, ignoring the pings that the universe deals us. Little messages from the energy of life that we all connect to, to tell us  we need to pay attention. I confess that I hear the pings often, they remind me of being patient or diplomatic, they point out a direct detour from a current situation, they send me a little tap, a tiny little whisper at first, that grows until I do pay attention. Of course the thwack is an ignored ping, it’s the result of no response. Consider it a snowball that has travelled down Everest. When it hits, it will have our attention.

If we look at it from an honest perspective and be courageous enough to ask the tough questions to see through our own charade, we can usually meddle through the emotion and pinpoint the requirements for recovery. If we pay close attention to the pings we might experience cruise mode much more often.  I have seen thwacks in many guises. A mini bus, an emotional breakdown, a partners fist, a serious illness, a roaring flame. If we are not paying attention these things will remind us that we have a reason to respond. A motive if you like, to act and create change. If we work with truth on a daily basis and allow ourselves the freedom to act without fear of judgment or failure we begin to embrace the pings and stride forward in life. Creating a sense of purpose and meaning beyond the wall that ignoring them creates.

 

 

Perception, being gentle and somebody elses shoes!

What you focus on is what you live. I am a big believer in that. You live what you think. So be gentle with your thinking.

While your at it (all this being gentle with yourself), you might feel inspired to encourage others to think gentle too. To live gentle, be gentle and share gentle. To focus on the uplifting in life, the empowering and motivating aspects of existing. To focus on the strength in being real and believing in people. In choosing compassion over judgement and understanding over conflict.

I saw a little quote one day, I have seen numerous people being credited for it, I think it was His Holiness , the Dalai Lama that said it, but I could be wrong. I love it, it is this ; “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

We all have a desire at some level to help people, to contribute in a meaningful way. I honestly believe that is our true nature, its a deep calling that exists within all of us. If you disagree, then I challenge you to take a few hours of your day and help somebody. Seriously, just choose a day, even if you can only spare 1 hour, go somewhere very public where there are loads of people and serve them. Hold doors open, carry groceries, fill parking machines, share laughter. Be a witness to your shifting focus and know that this energy is always available to you. We experience moments everyday, where we can forgive, assist, share and gift another with kindness.

I have had the privilege of meeting some amazing people and I am blessed with great friends and family that are cherished by many. It’s interesting, that we connect with others and choose our own stories about who they are, based on how they talk, live, stand and communicate. We presume we know something about somebody, that we think we understand somebody or we feel similar for some reason. All of this based on our own perception of another persons momentary behaviour. I don’t really ever say it to myself but I often remind myself of “walking in somebody else’s shoes”! See, I think that we often wear hats to feel a certain way, to fit in or to stand out, to be accepted or valued. There is a continual  energy of “trying” if you spend your life in search of acceptance and public acknowledgement. However, the truth is, that whatever another thinks of us, is just a perception. It is theirs not ours, it is fluid and changeable, it does not have to impact on how we see ourselves. Contributing to a valuable life, means self acceptance and love. The relationship we create within ourselves is as important as the one we have with the world. Your connection to what you read and what you take from it belongs to you. Your desire to assist others can be fulfilled daily, simply and effectively.

I guess what I would really love to see. Is a world that is open to forgiveness and change by walking our talking. By living the values that are true to our nature and honouring our own calling.

If you look for the rough in someone you will find it, if you look for the pain in someone you will find it, if you look for the joy in someone you’ll ignite it! Are you tough on yourself? Do you berate yourself often, do you snigger at yourself, do you expect too much of yourself, are you being unkind to yourself? Do you dislike yourself?

I watch people being angry and I feel deep compassion for them. I don’t know if I can explain it well enough for it to be understood but I’ll try. I know that they are being abusive to another and being unkind and inconsiderate and cruel , but I know that if they have this ability to hurt another in this way, then imagine the life that they live in their own mind. It must be a prison. It must be a very cold and dark place. Maybe they are always looking for the rough in the world and in their relationships, maybe they have a focus that remains on what is not a part of their current experience instead of focussing on what is and then perhaps that focus is pain based not pleasure. I don’t know about that, I guess it would change depending on the person. There are so many things to be grateful for and I cant imagine occupying a mind that lives that way. This understanding fosters a very real compassion in me for the people that do.

I am a witness to emotional abuse, we all are. Everyday, we see someone who is berated or insulted. It can occur on all sorts of levels, by all sorts of means. We watch television, read papers, surf online. We visit stores, sports arenas, government institutions. It seems that there is no end to this behaviour. If we consider the impact of this energy within our own lives we might see a reason to turn the television off, not buy that paper, to be choosy about which stores we visit and what sites we surf. If we pay attention to what impacts our thoughts and the relationship that our thoughts have with our current surroundings we might see an interesting pattern. I believe that the energy of anger is sticky and powerful like superglue. I try to be gentle with my life. To be mindful of the information I hear and read that is mass media related. I am constantly watching as more and more people become bewildered by the global increase in violence, poverty, disease and our seeming lack of compassion for others. Why though should that be a focus? because that will continue with or without my focus and in fact, it will be ever so slightly energised by it.

Our perceptions of the world and our immediate surroundings belong to us. Others might try to influence it but we are the main menu of our destination. We will move toward the direction we are most focussed on. So where are you going?